Today, my accomplice, posing as an out of work
representative of the 'younger generation' whatever that is (not seen
one on the hash since I was one), managed to take a photograph (at
extreme risk of being unmercifully lampooned - which he was - but that's
what all our agents are trained for) of an alien craft that had crashed
into the forest. Despite words of its intentions displayed for us to
read, they were completely incomprehensible.
These 'hashers', or so they like to be called, are an advance
party of aliens that have landed on earth with a view to changing our
entire life-style. For the first time today, we have seen evidence of
the craft in which they travel, goodness knows how many light-years to
colonise Hampshire and the rest of the planet (for what its worth, which
at the moment is about minus seven trillion pounds, that is about £1000 per
person on earth or £1020 if you want to come to the New Forest hash in
These 'hashers' go out into the fresh air at least once a week and,
without serious training or HSE advice, walk, stumble or jog for about
an hour and, appear to ENJOY this!
Their ancient High Priest attempted to tell me, and anybody else who
wouldn't listen, the history of their 'hash' movement. Sadly, I missed
the point as I fell asleep and so their intergalactic words of wisdom
have been lost forever.